Unforgiveable

I remember when I was younger. My motto was "Forgive and Forget". But after going through hard times, I was totally wrong. Do you know when you are up against a jerk it will haunt you forever? Its true. I wouldnt mind if he politely rejected me. But he didnt. In fact, it made my heart broke twice. I been asking myself, does he like teasing me? Is this a joke? Does he thinks its fun or funny? Its been in my head since the day he rejected me.

I seriously wouldnt mind if he said it politely. But hell no. He didnt. The thought of this seriously haunt me. I may act normal in the outside, but im crushed in the inside. I dont want to show that face when it happened to me. I dont want to show it again. The pain and sadness. I thought I was ready for all of these. But I wasnt ready for what worst is coming towards me.

My friends ask me to forget it. But its easier said than done. Its difficult, eventhough I want that to happen. I really want to forget it but how could I, when I see him every 5 days a week? The thought of looking at him makes me cringe. I think he told his friends because they stare at me. Do you know that feeling when people stare at you. It hurts and its scary.

I want a holiday where I cant see him forever. I cant think properly. Everytime when I try to do something else, it runs around my head. Even in my dreams, I dream about it. When I listen to music, I think about it. I study or do my homework, I think about it. I chat with my friends, I think about it. I eat, sleep, shit, whatever, I think about it.

I really want to forget. From now on wards I will forget it, I will erase every single drop of it. I will try, to be normal, to become happier. To be like the old me. I will not tolerate with this idiot anymore. He broke my heart twice but I shall never let him do it again. This is a promise, I will forget BUT I wont forgive. I swore I will get him back. I swore I will show him what he done to me. I believe in karma. Forever shall I believe it.

I would like to thank my fellow friends and classmates. For backing me up, helping me, supporting me and protecting to me. Thanks so so much for doing that. You guys are truly my friends. Saying "thank you" doesnt make a difference. But its the least I could do. I would like to thank Shandrika, for backing me up, calming me and also offered to beat the shit out of him. Josephine, for supporting me and calming me. Natasha, also offered to beat the shit out of him and supporting me. Ken, my second pair of ears, listening to my problems and giving me advice. Charlene, for supporting me. If there are anyone I missed, I'm very very sorry. But I would thank you anyway ^^. Lastly......

To that douche-bag, jerk who call himself a human and a Christian:
I shall never forgive you ever. Karma will get you back. As what everyone says "What goes around comes around". This is what you wanted right? To forget you. To leave you alone. Well, here you go. I cant say I'm happy but I know you are. I swore, I-WILL-PAY-YOU-BACK!
Yours truly,
A person who wastes your time and a so-called jerk.